- How to beat the odds!
The statistic is that over half of marriages end in divorce, and these are just the ones that get married. Being that no relationship is perfect; couples therapy can be helpful at different times in a couple’s development.
The first time when couples therapy can be helpful is pre-marital or before making the commitment to be lifelong partners. This is a time when love and hope are at its highest and it seems that everything is going good. So why should we do therapy? Premarital Counseling can be a good way to ensure that you and your partner have similar visions for your future. I have developed an 8-10 week curriculum that helps the couple explore topics that maybe they haven’t even thought to discuss yet.
The topics include: Communication and resolving conflict, attitudes and expectations about your new family, children, money matters, religion, family of origin, blended family issues, intimacy, and sex. During the therapy you will be given specific tools that can help avoid miscommunications or misunderstandings. By the end the hope is that you will have tools to be able to handle the stress and roller coaster that the first year as a joined couple has to offer.
Another time when couple therapy can be helpful is when big changes are occurring. These changes can vary from: buying a house, changing jobs, trying to have a baby, infertility, loss of a child, and parenting. All of these changes will increase stress levels and with the increase levels comes room for conflict. It can help to have a third neutral party to help smooth the waves and improve communication and understanding of one another. This type of therapy can be seen as more preventive and maintenance on the relationship.
A common time when couples consider therapy is when there is either infidelity or their union is no longer filling their emotional needs. This is when a couple has already been experiencing trust issues, communication issues, low levels of intimacy and sex, and high levels of resentments and anger.
Therapy can help the couple determine which path they want to take their relationship. It can either help them work through the problems or help them decide if separation/divorce is the best option.
When considering divorce this is also a time when couples try the last ditch attempt to save what they had or work on ways to separate amicably. Divorce is a very challenging time in a person’s life and can bring up all sorts of feelings: anger, sadness, regret, confusion, loneliness etc. Divorce can also be very scary and overwhelming and it can help to have a non-judgmental neutral support during this time from a person who is not part of the couples family or friends.
If you find that you and your partner can connect to any of these natural relationship developmental milestones and/or struggles, please feel free to contact me HERE.